Willpower as Energetic Currency: Spending on What Matters

As an executive coach, I’ve worked with countless high-achieving individuals who believe they can keep pushing themselves indefinitely, powered by the idea that willpower is limitless. It’s a seductive belief, one that makes us feel as though if we just “try harder” or “push through,” we can achieve anything. The problem? It’s not true. Willpower is finite.

Dr. Roy Baumeister, a pioneering psychologist, has shown us through years of research that willpower is like a muscle—something that can be strengthened with practice, but also something that gets depleted. Every time we use our willpower, it gets exhausted a little more. And much like a muscle, if we don’t replenish it, we risk burnout.

The crux of the issue isn’t just that willpower is finite; it's that it gets drained in ways we don’t even realize. Willpower is depleted when we push ourselves to do things we deep down don’t want to do. It’s also drained when we avoid doing the things we actually do want to do, but feel we’re not “allowed” to do.

Think about it: how many times have you forced yourself to finish a task that no longer serves you, or put off something you truly care about because you "should" be working on something else? Every time we go against our deep desires or values—every time we act out of obligation instead of alignment—we use up our willpower. And the more we do this, the more we risk wearing ourselves thin and losing touch with the things that actually make us happy and fulfilled.

The reality is that many of us end up in burnout precisely because we’ve been exercising our willpower endlessly, almost like it’s a badge of honor. It’s a form of self-discipline that feels virtuous, but in reality, it’s a setup for exhaustion and dissatisfaction. We find ourselves saying things like, "I’ll be happy when this is over," or "If I just push through now, I can enjoy the rewards later."

But here’s the truth: continual deferral of happiness becomes a habit. And when that habit takes root, it can feel like we’re forever chasing a future reward while sacrificing our present joy. The implicit belief here is clear: "If I can just endure this discomfort, I will deserve happiness later." But what if the discomfort is wearing us down, leaving us less able to enjoy anything—now or later?

There's another layer to this: the belief that if we don’t have infinite willpower, we are somehow inadequate. If we can’t keep going, if we can’t meet every demand placed upon us, we worry that we’re not “enough.” This is particularly true in a world that values constant productivity and success. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that pushing ourselves endlessly is a sign of strength when, in fact, it might be a sign of a deeper fear: the fear of not being good enough unless we achieve more, push harder, and do everything.

So what can we do? The first step is recognizing where we’re depleting our willpower by doing things that aren’t in alignment with our true desires or values. Are you continuing to take on responsibilities that no longer serve your vision? Are you putting off things you’re passionate about because you don’t feel you “deserve” the time or energy for them? By identifying where we’re leaking willpower, we can start making more intentional decisions about where and how we use it.

Instead of adding more tasks to our already overflowing plates—things like reading a personal development book, using a scheduler to be more efficient, or starting a new meditation routine—why not consider eliminating something?

Ask yourself: What is it that I’m doing but don’t really want to be doing? It could be something that you’ve convinced yourself is “good” for you, but that you just haven’t come around to liking. It’s like forcing yourself to eat tasteless food because you think it’s healthy, even though you’re not enjoying it. By taking something off your plate—something that is draining your energy and willpower—you’ll begin to recapture that vital resource.

This allows you to redirect your energy where it truly matters: on what’s important and meaningful to you. Willpower isn’t about adding more to your life, but about choosing where to spend it. What are the tasks, obligations, or activities that are wearing you down without bringing value to your life? By eliminating them, you give yourself permission to focus on the things that energize and inspire you.

Remember, willpower is a finite resource. It’s not about doing more; it’s about doing what matters—and learning how to stop doing what doesn’t. The key is not in endless exertion, but in the wisdom to recognize when we need to say no, when we need to stop, and when we need to realign with what truly fuels us.

So, here’s is an action -- should you choose to accept it:

List 3 activities -- big or small -- that you do not enjoy doing and can delegate, or eliminate altogether

Then, list 3 activities -- big or small -- that you truly want to do, but haven't allowed yourself to do.

This may not sound revolutionary, but the secret is not in the idea. but in its application. Once you have taken this step, you will begin to see things differently, and with a different perspective, new opportunities will present themselves.

It’s time to stop honoring endless exertion and start honoring your energetic currency. Your well-being depends on it!